It was only 9 months after the birth and death of my first son that I found out I was pregnant with Mikah. I was working as a cake decorator at the time and letting myself once again experience life my way. I can't say my husband and I didn't try, because maybe I was, but we had just once again started to co-exist as husband and wife. Grief does a number on marriage, and it did to us.
It seems like from day 1 I knew I was pregnant. I knew it at least a week before it showed up on a pregnancy test so I immediately began to prepare. I was going to VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), it was best for my body and my baby. I also wasn't going to let any aches or pains slide this time, no matter how small. My doctor would know everything. I told all of this to my CNM (certified nurse midwife) at my first appointment. I think that was when it was deemed, based off my first pregnancy and delivery, they'd label me as a high risk and so my care would be transferred to the in-office high risk OB.
Incompetent Cervix is what I was diagnosed with or what they think caused my preterm labor and delivery with Ein so we set up a game plan. If this pregnancy stayed viable past 12 weeks then at 15 weeks I would get a cerclage (stitch the cervix closed) placed and then start p17/progesterone shots at 20 weeks to keep this pregnancy from ending the same way. A VBAC was still possible and going to term was possible, but I didn't want to get my hopes up.
As the weeks progressed I stretched and stretched. I'd recommend waiting longer than 9 months postpartum after a c-section to have another pregnancy because it hurts pretty badly for your scar to stretch when it may not be completely healed. At 15 weeks, I had the surgery for cerclage. That was pretty uncomfortable and awkward. I was awake with a spinal block and a team of nurses and my high risk doctor looking at my vagina spread open and my feet in stirrups. Through out the 30 min procedure I could feel everything being done to me, despite the drugs. The room was below freezing and again, the nurses were talking about Thanksgiving and Christmas with family. My doctor was amazing though. He got them to shut up by telling them to come see what he was doing and had them more involved.
The surgery was a success. I contracted for a few days after but had medicine to keep it from progressing. Eventually, I had to quit work, yet again, because of the demands of my job conflicting with my work restrictions. I had been put on limited home bed rest to keep my blood pressure manageable and keep my cervix from contracting. I was bored and miserable, but my baby was more important.
At 20 weeks I went to the hospital in preterm labor. I was almost immediately put on a magnesium I.V. drip in Labor & Delivery and when my contractions finally stopped a day and a half later, I was admitted to hospital bed rest. Hospital bed rest, not exactly what I wanted for me or this baby. In the weeks to come I would be diagnosed with Hypertension, Gestational Diabetes, be discharged and readmitted a few days later for preterm labor again, and stay in fear of the fast approaching 28th week. My milestone.
The 28th week of pregnancy we were prepared. When I say we I mean my me, my doctor, and the nurses were all prepared for a maybe. I prayed the night before, and I'm sure I had others praying with me, that this little one would at least make it one more week. As was my mantra those days. "Just one more week. Please God, just one more week and he's yours." I stayed up that night until 2-3 am the next morning. I took a nap and then woke up to the increased activity outside my hospital room door. I watched the sun come up over the bricked room that was my view. It was beautiful, and I felt fine. It was a pretty uneventful night, morning, day and I was happy with that. Again, I was ready.
After that week there were really no contractions to be seen unless I moved around too much. I was discharged at 30 or so weeks because I was tired of being locked up in the hospital away from family. I was depressed and lonely, so for my benefit and mental health, my doctor discharged me into the hands of my family. I only stayed home until 32 weeks because my blood pressure was too high for comfort. Back to the hospital I went for safe keeping. At 34 weeks the cerclage was removed because my doctor was leery of contractions busting my stitch. After that it was the waiting game. He thought I would go into labor, but I didn't. The only thing progressing was my blood pressure.
The protein levels in my urine were increasing and I was warned about induction and/or c-section. C-section. I did not want it. I cried and cried and cried. It would be the same as last time. It would kill me this time for sure. How could this happen again? I cried into a shoulder of one of my favorite nurses at the time and she told the doctor to talk with me. We set up a plan for "just in case" and agreed it would be family centered. My husband would be there at all times unless I said otherwise, and my family would be allowed to stay in my room for support. I felt better, but not quite. Major surgery is major surgery.
On the morning of April 15, 2012 at 35 weeks and 5 days gestation, my blood pressure was too high for comfort. I was dizzy, nauseated, and my urine protein results hadn't come back in yet to say otherwise. My doctor spoke with me and we decided something was going on and it was high time for Mikah to be born. I made the call to my husband, said we're having a baby, and called the rest of the crew. One nurse asked if I was O.K. with this because she had seen my melancholy expression. "Yea, I think so. It's not how I wanted, but I think it's for the best now." So she gave me a hug and said let's go. She wheeled me down to Labor & Delivery where they set me up and prepped me for surgery. My close family was there and we said a prayer that everything would be fine.
So I got a healing c-section. The nurses were friendly and comforting and my husband was present and we were informed. My family didn't hold him until I said so and Mikah was big and healthy for his gestation, weighing in at 5lbs 13oz and 18 1/2 inches long. I did have to have a magnesium drip for the first 12 hours after birth because of Pre-E but they didn't start it until I had had at least a good hour of bonding for which I'm grateful because the magnesium was not kind to me or my senses.
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