The Mom I Want To Be

 Motherhood doesn't come with instructions. Some women have an innate sense of it when their children are born. I have to confess, fear was the first thing that popped into my head when my son's were born. It might have been the circumstances of their birth, but I feel it's the most accurate description of what motherhood is like sometimes. Fearful.

 When Mikah was born and placed into my arms the first time, I was shocked, fearful, sad, and relieved all at once. Yes, I loved him, but the worse is hardly ever over once the child is born. Just because you can see, touch, and smell your child doesn't mean they are out of harms way. For the first year of his life I was that high-strung, nervous wreck of a mother. I was constantly playing out worst-case scenarios and choosing the lesser of the two evils for every decision. I felt horrible when I had to give him exclusive formula because I felt like a failure and felt that I was poisoning him. And every time he threw it up that thought process was affirmed for me.

 I have to say, the first year of his life, I did indeed let myself go. I let myself go to make sure he would thrive. Not because he wasn't, but because I feared he wouldn't. I feared, since he was 5wks early, he wouldn't be able to keep up with his peers. I constantly compared us to other mothers and babies his age. One of the worst things I have ever done. I set myself up for disaster at every turn and it fed into Post-Partum Depression like a log on a fire.

 Yesterday I was looking at old photos and videos of Mikah and it made me sad. All I could remember is how stressed out I was or think about how I could have done things differently. I had actually forgotten how cute my son was. Yea, people will tell you to enjoy is while you can, and it's true, but that's just a brief summarization. Why don't more people tell you that, while those emotions are normal, they should be discussed? Why don't other mothers express that to their sisters, nieces, daughters, and granddaughters? Why did I have to read about it in a blog?

 I can tell a dramatic difference in the way I parent now compared to his first year. Some things still stand though, like for his diet and cloth diapering (of course!), but I'm a lot more relaxed. If I don't take care of myself, who would take care of him? It shows in Mikah as well. He's not as afraid of others, he can initiate play with someone other than me, won't scream the whole time I'm gone, and all of that is affirmed each time he randomly kisses me and tells me he loves me. I love being his mom and I adore him. Though I've had a difficult beginning in Motherhood, I wouldn't change it for anything. Those difficulties turned into lessons learned and allowed me to become a mom to a pretty cute and rambunctious little boy. Who knew you could learn so much from a toddler? He's helping shape me into the mom I want to be.

Baby Fever

 Oh man, I have baby fever alright. I've pretty much had it since Mikah turned one. Some days are worse than others, and some days I think I'm crazy for having those other days. If you're not familiar, Baby Fever is not what babies get when they're sick, per se, it's a term used to describe a feeling women/men get when they strongly desire offspring of their own or MORE offspring. Right now I desire MORE!

 It might just be because a few of my family members and friends are pregnant, might be because I read about and look at nothing but child birth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, baby photos and articles. Plain and simple: I want another child. I always wanted at least 3 and the next child will be number 3 for us. Also, being told that there is a time limit on your child-bearing years kind of lights a fire under your butt. That, coupled with reasonably and responsibly having children, leaves me emotional and hormonal... Baby Fever.

 Things one can do when said Baby Fever attacks your home are: Buy all the baby gear! Seriously, because you usually have Baby Fever when there are pregnant friends or family around you, buy something nice for the new/ bigger family. It allows you to get that fix of baby shopping (while simultaneously reminding you why you decided to wait for financial reasons) and helps relieve some stress of the family you're buying for.

Don't go to Babies R Us if you don't plan on drooling over baby furniture.

 Make something/ DIY! Nothing says, "I'm UUBER excited" than a homemade mobile, wall hanging, or clothing item for the precious, new babe. Depending on how elaborate you are, you can get away with making a sweet gift for under $5 bucks. Plus, homemade gifts are usually received just as well as big ticket items because of the thought and appreciation put into said gift. If you haven't yet, visit Pinterest for some baby/kid DIY! Here's a link to one of my boards.

What better to do with your Parent magazine than to repurpose it for a cute basket?! This would be great for moms with babies expected to arrive on or around Easter. Follow the link to my board for more info.

 The last thing I can think of that would either break or make your Baby Fever is babysitting. It would allow you to hug and cuddle the babies/ kids you offer to take responsibility of for any amount of time, you get paid, and it allows you the experience you need to decide if growing your family/ starting your family is the right choice.

 Or, you know, you could be like me and be the indecisive over-achiever and do all three! I think my Baby Fever doesn't just come from the anticipation of babies. For me, it comes from the knowledge that there will be great "ahh" and "aww" moments to be had as well as "wtf" and "seriously?!" moments and I want to help my friends and families with that transition. To help alleviate any doubts they have with themselves as parents and answer, or at least help research, the questions that will eventually arise. I know those instances, and it's not fun alone.

I Went to MommyCon-Austin!!

 Heck yes I did!!! I know this post is a little late but, jeez, I had to recuperate. I lost 9lbs that day! Then little man got sick so we both had to recuperate from that. I will say this though, it was a smaller event than I thought it would be. I would expect that if it were in Dallas, not Austin. Just that made it kind of anti-climactic. Also, despite the easily attained schedules, I missed out on A LOT of seminars. Half of that was my fault though, not realizing I had to sign up virtually for the sleep consultation and having to bring my toddler to the potty every 20 minutes or stopping to feed him. (Who does that?!) Though there were a lot of women, like myself, confused by the workshop and seminar rooms and where to find their lectures. All that being said, the staff was extremely helpful and nice. Even offering me a seat in the sleep consultation if not all the attendees showed. I'm just grateful they came!

This shot (Expo Hall) was taken from the entrance and to the left. A LOT of space was still available. Even with the lunch counter and tables on the side. The black drop was the set up for Project: Breastfeeding. (I got to meet Hector!!)

 I had to get there early though because Amanda, leader and founder of The Rebecca Foundation's Cloth Diaper Closet, was supposed to be the MommyCon ambassador but, had a conflicting morning schedule and I agreed to fill in for a few hours. It allowed me to familiarize myself with the space, meet the vendors as they were setting up, scope out the bathrooms and exits in case of a toddler emergency... You know, the usual. I was also able to set up the TRFCDC banner and donation box at the registration desk. Though it wasn't a lot, I was VERY PLEASED to find a few good condition diapers at the end of the day. If any one of you that donated are reading this, THANK YOU SO VERY VERY VERY MUCH!! That's just about enough to donate to one family in need or struggling. :)

 Oh, and we also participated in the Great Cloth Diaper Change! Jamie TheBabyGuyNYC, The Honest Toddler, and Jessica from The Leaky Boob were there to help keep things interesting while we waited to unanimously change our babies into a clean cloth diaper like other women from various locations around the world. Going in, we all had a raffle ticket to win a prize, but these guys also played Trivia (of sorts) for others to win. I wasn't fast enough to answer those questions, or able to sing a song from the movie Frozen  (no lie!), but I DID win a diaper with my raffle ticket. I was so amazed and shocked. Good thing little man was procrastinating! Anyway, results aren't back yet in regards to if we actually broke a record, but we helped raise awareness, like I'm doing right now. I also got to chat with some lovely ladies and their littles. That's just as good... Right? Right.

 All in all, it was a great day. I'm so thankful that I had this experience, a probably once in a lifetime experience, and got to meet like-minded men and women to remind me of why I chose this path in parenting. I hope that there are fortunate families in every city able to attend. There are at least seven more cities in the line up. Which will you attend? Don't forget to use my code BRITTSBLOG on general admission for a discount. Thanks for reading!

The crew spitting out trivia questions.

Xza, one of the founders of MommyCon, handing out a diaper to a lucky mama.

MOAR questions!

"Do you wanna build a snowman?" See, Frozen...

My beautiful, soft, fluffy diaper!

The Joovy rep let me borrow this bike so Mikah could cruise around!

Wrapping sessions! Oh how I wish I had a wrap!!

Volunteer for MommyCon

 Did you know that you could volunteer some hours at MommyCon events near you and get a free admission? That's WAY better than my discount code, BRITTSBLOG, but it's still available if the spaces fill up before you can email them. Check out their daily facebook posts, like this one, and many others. After Austin the crew will be headed to Denver, Boston, Memphis, Philadelphia, and New Port Beach!! The Austin event is also hosting The Great Cloth Diaper Change so, if you haven't already, at least register for that and help us break the world record of most babies changed into a cloth diaper at one time. You can either bring your own or borrow one. Hope to see you there!!

Week in the Life: Visiting Family, Easter, and Prepping for MommyCon!

 Wow! This has been a very long, fun-filled week for me. Last Saturday, the 12th, was Mikah's birthday party. I he looked SOOO sweet blowing out his birthday candles and smiling at every one singing "Happy Birthday" to him. He even oohed and ahhed at his presents -trucks- and just overall not a little baby. We also rented a bounce house for him and I can comfortably say we, or the kids) got our money's worth out of it. It's heart-warming to watch his personality change but also a little heart-breaking to see his focus shift from me to others around him. He's not completely there, but he will be soon.

 The next day, Sunday, is when Mikah and I rode up to Round Rock with our aunt, uncle, cousins, and my sister. My car is being very trustworthy and I needed a way to get to MommyCon on the 26th so they said they'd bring me. So we get to have a three week vacation with family and my sister (twin) and I can finally work on our relationship together, but not before I locked the keys in my car and my aunt had to call Pop-a-Lock to get them out. Geez! Other than that rocky start, things have been good. I mean, my sister and I had a few misunderstandings, pretty much because we're in different worlds, but I have never been happier than when I'm with them and my sisters. I've even seen a change in Mikah and it's all for the better.

Mikah playing with a cousin that previously had no interest in him. She's 4mths older.

 Tuesday was Mikah's actual birthday, and it was kind of sad. That morning my husband called to tell me that our dog, Rudy, whom we've had for 3 years after my younger sister and I rescued him, the one companion I had when I was too afraid to let anyone know how I truly felt about Ein dying, was run over by someone in the neighborhood right in front of the house. I was and still am upset. I thought my husband was playing some kind of a joke on me like, "haha no, he didn't get hit but he almost did chasing these damn cats." I still don't really believe it. I'm kind of afraid of how I'll react when I get there and he isn't running around my feet and whining because he's so excited to see me. I wonder how Mikah will react because usually the first thing he does when we get home is ask about Rudy. It will be a sad day, indeed.

 These last few days kind of melded together. There have been toddlers running around, lots of hitting and and crying over spilled milk (literally), but more joking, laughter, and smiles than anything else. Today, Easter Sunday, was a very good, fun-filled, tiring day. We all got dressed up and with to church, I choked on the communal wine, there were egg hunts, food, food, and more food. After this week I probably won't know what to do with myself. Oh, I know! Get ready for MommyCon!!

Saying, "cheeeeese" with his Easter egg.

 So, now that San Francisco is done with MommyCon, it's Austin's turn to host. MommyCon Austin will be held at the Palmer Events Center and is planned around family so bring all your kids!!! Or not, you know. ;) I'll even be there representing The Rebecca Foundation and filling in until our wonderful founder Amanda Vaughn can join us. There we will have a place to talk with parents that are interested in cloth diapering but are struggling financially and explain how we can help. I'm really nervous but also REALLY excited. I hope I don't fail, or fall, or have Mikah pee on me...

 Don't forget, if you want a ticket to MommyCon, any location, then use my discount code BRITTSBLOG in the promotional code box at the time of registration. Have to move fast though and I hope to see you in Austin on the 26th!!

Potty Training and Exploitation

 This has to be, by far, the hardest part of parenting a toddler that I have encountered so far. Potty training. I'm trying not to get stressed out about it and would rather him take his time BUT, Mikah suffers from food sensitivities like noacidic foods/fruits, for one, or else it gives his behind water blisters it burns him so bad. Now, I know that has to do with the fact that he's pretty much urinating on himself and into the diaper and I'd rather have this part of his life over with so I can begin to experiment with and maybe get him to tolerate foods like that better.

 That's the big, selfless part of it. Another reason, that makes me giddy inside, is that my sister is pregnant! She's almost 15 weeks and I think I have her boyfriend convinced to cloth diaper. YAY!! That means Mikah's diapers can become hand-me-downs, or I can use them for clients for my TRFCDC- chapter. (If and when I get an applicant. By the way, I can't believe I haven't done an update on that. More to come about The Rebecca Foundation's Cloth Diaper Closet and how you can apply if you need our help for you or a friend! Though, Mikah being in diapers still is keeping me from having another one so soon, or, at least, keeping me from planning for another child. I don't want two in diapers. Nope.

 It seems like Mikah knows that I want him to urinate in the toilet but I think he still has trouble with letting it go on command. He knows the feeling and will tell me he has to go, but would rather flush the toilet instead.Yesterday, all he wanted to do was to be in his underwear. He did use the toilet a couple of times, but urinated on himself the rest of the time. Still progress!! A few months ago he could care less and would rather run around naked. Now, because of his obsession with cars, trucks, and dinosaurs I've exploited that obsession to get him to wear the underwear and hopefully not soil himself. It kind of works. He likes the pictures of dinosaurs and cars and can hold his little bladder for a few hours. I guess we'll see where we're at in a few more months.

 I have learned that it's not really potty-training so much as it is potty-learning. Mikah's learning to listen to his body's cues, learning to communicate that with me, and I'm learning to listen and understand him so that we can work together to get him "house-broken". Haha! Times like these I wish I could remember how I was potty trained. I remember my sister (the pregnant one) still in diapers when I was four and remember that I was in big girl panties, but nothing really before then. That at least gives me some relief to know that somewhere between now and age 4 it'll happen.

 Any pro tips for PLing a little boy?

Oh Time, You Silly Thing...

 Whew! What busy weeks these have been lately. Babysitting, visiting with family, planning my trip to MommyCon- Austin, dealing with a sick toddler, potty training, and planning a 2 year old's birthday party on a budget... Yeah. One step at a time. Right? Right.

 If you don't know, MommyCon goes to different cities across the U.S.A. every year. This is their second year and BOY have they grown! Take for instance MommyCon- San Francisco. Did you know that Alanis Morissette is going to be the guest speaker there? Alanis-freaking-Morissette!!!!! As much as I love her (fangirling, sorry...) there will be other speakers there giving lectures and demonstrations, such as Jamie Grayson- The Baby Guy showing his prowess with all the baby gear you could ever imagine, and Jamie Lynne Grumet- creator of the blog I Am Not the Babysitter and face of the (in)famous Time magazine cover of her and her youngest son breastfeeding. Now, these are not the ONLY speakers there and I'm sure I'm doing a disservice to them by not listing their names as well but, you get my excitement.

 Also, just a reminder, if you want to go but are strapped for cash, search MommyCon on Facebook. They regularly post giveaways or links to them for free tickets, sponsorships, or discount codes. Speaking of which, I have a code for you, my beautiful reader!! Just type in BRITTSBLOG in the promotion box when purchasing your e-ticket and you're good to go. As awesome as that is, sadly, it's only for General admission. That means no discount on VIP or pre-sale tickets.

 I really can't wait to go. I am SO excited and beyond blessed that I have this opportunity. Not only from the creators/organizers of MommyCon USA but from also my family. Mikah and I will be staying with my uncle and his family in Austin. Which is awesome. I love hanging out with them, but we'll be there for 3 weeks. We leave the day after Mikah's b-day party since my car is unreliable. Oh well. MINI-VACATION!! I just hope I don't forget my camera! I mean, no underwear? No problem! No camera, YIKES! That would be very un-blogger of me... (Un-blogger? Making up words because it's late... don't judge me.)

 Mikah's birthday is coming along nicely. Nothing too big. He loves playing with cars and truck more than anything else, except balloons, so it is a really easy thing to decorate with/for. So far I know we'll have a bouncy house... and cake. My step-mom and I have this idea for his cake that, if it becomes reality, will be freaking SWEET! I don't want to say just yet. I might anger the Birthday Cake Gods and force them to make our cake crumble, or the icing melt, or, Birthday Cake Gods forbid, our cake decorating skills look like a failed Pinterest project! PRAY FOR US!